


What Do You Call a Twelvesome?

by squidgie



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010), Sports Night, Stargate Atlantis, Supernatural, Torchwood, Warehouse 13
Genre: Iowa 'verse, Live a Little 'verse, M/M, Multi, PWP
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-11-27
Updated: 2011-11-27
Packaged: 2017-10-26 14:59:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/284614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/squidgie/pseuds/squidgie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is pretty much a PWP for elderwitty's birthday.  Happy birthday, sweetie! :)</p>
            </blockquote>





	What Do You Call a Twelvesome?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [elderwitty](https://archiveofourown.org/users/elderwitty/gifts).



> This is for [](http://elderwitty.livejournal.com/profile)[**elderwitty**](http://elderwitty.livejournal.com/)'s birthday.  Thank you for being not only my writing partner, but the bestest friend EVER!  ::smooches::

_**Fic: What Do You Call a Twelvesome? - for elderwitty - Rated R**_  
TITLE: What Do You Call a Twelvesome?  
FANDOM: Too many to list  
PAIRINGS: Too many to list  
NOTES: This is for [](http://elderwitty.livejournal.com/profile)[**elderwitty**](http://elderwitty.livejournal.com/) 's birthday.  Thank you for being not only my writing partner, but the bestest friend EVER!  ::smooches::  
NOTES THE SECOND: Not betaed.  Kindof PWP, but humorous.  
WORDS: 843  
   
~*~*~  
   
A light flickers, and a twelve by twelve room comes into focus, empty except for mats on the floor, and towels and lube in a cubby next to one wall.  
   
One by one, characters start to blink into existence.  John Sheppard and Rodney McKay show up, slightly startled until they recognize their surroundings.  Sheppard throws McKay a knowing look, following it with a leer.  They turn to each other (Sheppard sure they're about to be directed to make out in yet another PWP story), when they're interrupted by two more characters popping into existence in the room.  "Hey, who's that?" McKay calls out.  
   
"Ummm..." the first new character stammers, then looks around at his partner, who's already leaning in towards Sheppard and McKay, introducing them.  "I'm Casey McCall, and this is my partner, Dan Rydell," the man says.  
   
"Oh _come_ on!" McKay nearly screams.  "Not another cockamamie crossover!"  
   
As if to answer his question, Sam and Dean Winchester pop into existence opposite Dan and Casey.  "What the hell are _we_ doing here?" Sam asks.  
   
Rodney just points up and deadpans, "Did you _not_ read the header?  This is for elderwitty."  
   
"Yeah," Sam retorts, "but the writer doesn't even know who the hell we are.  We're just here because he knows _she_ likes us.  He wouldn't know us from Adam."  
   
"Come on, _it's porn_!" Rodney says, rolling his eyes.  "It's not like he really needs to know who you are."  Rodney turns to Sheppard, who seems to be actively ogling Dean Winchester, then dope-slaps him when Sheppard gives Dean a 'how _you_ doin'?' look.  "You'll get your chance, flyboy.  
   
Two more characters pop into existence, quickly followed by another pair.  "What the hell?" Rodney asks.  
   
"I was about to ask the same thing," Sheppard replies, then pulls Rodney behind him; it's his normal defense move, though the groping and the 'honk honk!' sound effect is new.  "What the hell?"  
   
"Yeah, what the hell?" the second and third Sheppards ask in unison.   
   
Second and Third Rodney survey the landscape, then each offer an explanation.  "You must be Iowa!Rodney and Iowa!John," second Rodney offers to the third pair, earning nods.  "We're from Live A Little 'verse," he adds, putting an arm around tattooed John.  "You could have dressed a little nicer, you know," he mutters under his breath.  
   
Iowa!John gives LiveALittle!Rodney a glare.  "We live on a _farm_.  And we shop at _Target_ ," he replies.  "I'm sorry if our dress code doesn't meet your standards, but it's not like we're going to be dressed that long, anyway..."  
   
" _Shut up_!" Iowa!Rodney says to Iowa!John in a hushed tone.  "He's _hot_!" he adds, pointing to LiveALittle!John, who just smiles back, LiveALittle!Rodney smirking and pulling LiveALittle!John closer.  
   
"Yeah," canon!Rodney says, then dope-slaps canon!John again.  "Why can I never talk _you_ into getting a tattoo," he adds.  
   
"Whatever, Rodney," canon!John says.  
   
The room brightens once more as two more characters pop into existence.  " _Hello gorgeous_!" Dan Rydell says to the shorter version of his namesake, who's suddenly held back by a tall Navy SEAL character.  "Steve and Danno?" Danny asks, earning nods from the men.  "Those two are _hot_!" Danny says, giving Casey's ass a squeeze.  
   
Another bright flash brings two final characters, several rounds of "Who the hell?" and "What the hell?" greeting them.  
   
The tall man in the 1940s Army trench coat throws his arm around the Secret Service agent next to him, copping a feel along the way.  "Captain Jack Harkness" the dapper man introduces himself to the group.  "And you are..." he asks with a dopey smile to the man he's all but lounging on.  
   
"Agent Pete Lattimer, Warehouse 13," he replies, nearly dumbfounded.  "Excuse me, but _why_ am I here?  And why is _he_ here?" he asks, pointing to Captain Jack.  "I mean elderwitty barely remembers who I am, and she's not a Torchwood fan."  
   
"Yes," Captain Jack says, "but we're a favorite of the author.  Besides," he adds, "what's not to like?"  After leering at all three sets of Sheppards and McKays, he smiles and says, "Two sets of triplets... Reminds me of that time in the 51st century."  With a wink, he adds, "Good times, but _man_ , was I sore."  
   
Above each of them, a sign appears that has three simple words: Strip, Lube, Begin.  And the men do exactly as they are told.  
   
The ensuing orgy is so completely orgiastic that it can't be described with words.  But if you could see inside the author's head, you too would understand why Dan Rydell now has a limp, LiveALittle!Sheppard is covered in hickeys, Captain Jack is wearing nothing but his suspenders, Iowa!Rodney is still talking both canon!Sheppard and Iowa!Sheppard into getting tattoos (for each 'verse's Rodney's sake), Danny has bite-marks on his thighs and both Sam and Dean passed out on top of him, farm-pile style, and Agent Pete will be picking Casey and Steve McGarrett's hair out of his teeth for weeks.  
   
One more sign goes up, and each man manages to cheer out (though in a tired fashion), "Happy birthday, elderwitty!"  



End file.
